I am often told by clients that they just don't feel comfortable asking their close friends for business. That's a shame, because friends can be a great source of business or referrals.

Clients often say things like this:

My best friend from college just went in-house at a biotech firm. I'm reluctant to ask for business, because she'll think I'm taking advantage of our friendship.

A good friend is a senior executive at a major consumer products company. I'd like to get an introduction to the legal department there, but it just doesn't feel right to ask him to do that.

In one form or another, the underlying question is, "How can I convert personal relationships into business without jeopardizing the friendship?" If you've had similar thoughts, you've probably worried that your friends could think you are "exploiting" the relationship and take offense. Or you might be concerned that a poor result will sour the relationship.

The remedy for this dilemma is twofold: half in mindset and half in tactics.

On mindset, before deleting friends from your prospect list, consider the reality of the following:

1. Your friend has a real problem. (People hire lawyers when they have problems; nobody hires them just for fun!) Who better to help solve that problem than you? After all, you have a vested interest in your friend's welfare.

2. If your friend is in a position to hire legal counsel, he or she is a sophisticated businessperson. Sophisticated businesspeople know that others need to sell their services (they probably "sell" more than you do). They won't be offended; in fact, they may wonder why you waited this long to talk about it.

3. You're a competent lawyer. What's the likelihood that something will go wrong enough to destroy the friendship? Also consider the possibility that working together might actually deepen your friendship because your friend will get to see you in a role in which you shine.

Once you get the right mindset, you're ready to plan a strategy for suggesting that you work together. Though it may sound "unfriendly" to suggest preplanning the conversation, this can make you feel more comfortable in what you perceive to be an awkward discussion. Here's one approach:

Elizabeth, I'd like to talk about the possibility of our doing business together, but I don't want it to impinge on our friendship. Could I come to your office on Tuesday and discuss your legal needs and see if there is an area in which my firm or I might be able to help you?

This approach has several advantages:

1. It clearly acknowledges that you value the friendship and do not want to jeopardize it.

2. It lets the friend know you recognize the boundaries between friendship and business and makes it clear that you do not intend to convert your "friend time" into an endless barrage of sales pitches.

3. It puts you on a businessperson-to-businessperson footing when talking business.

If even that approach seems too direct, here are some other ways to get friends to start thinking of you as the solution to the legal problems they may be facing, not just a great tennis partner or another mom on the soccer sidelines:

1. Ask them about their business. This typically leads to questions from them about your business.

2. The next time you are scheduled to have lunch, ask them to meet you at your office. Once they see your fancy office, the diplomas and awards on the wall, and the stacks of files in your office, they may see you in a new light (and not just as a pack rat!).

3. Showcase your legal talents by inviting them to a seminar put on by your firm at which you are a featured speaker.

4. Forward an article of professional interest to them that relates to your legal expertise. Include a personal note highlighting why it might be of interest to them and how it relates to your practice.

5. Invite them to be your guests at a business-related program on a topic of mutual interest. Picking up the tab sends the subtle message that you consider this a business opportunity.

Which friend have you overlooked as a great prospect for your services? What could you do this week to broach the possibility of doing business together? With the right mindset and approach, doing business with friends can be comfortable, fun and profitable!